[riley6]

I went to a Nancy Thomas workshop. She said the person who asks the questions is the one in charge. It should always be the parent asking the question. Something like:

Child: can we go play outside?
Parent: We will be eating in ten minutes, when will you come inside?
Child: when you call us.
Parent: are you sure?
Child: yes.

Child: I want to play (before school).
Parent: What do you have to do first?
Child: but I want to play!
Parent: What is the rule?

Also, if you can make a poster for shool/bedtime routines, it might help the kids visualize what needs to be done and when. Get a digital clock and put the poster above it. Let the kids help make the poster. Put the time on the poster and next to it a picture (kids draw or cut out of magazines) what they have to do at that time. The kids can go through the poster kind of like a check list and see if they've done all their morning business so they have time to play before school.

>>>>>>he knows its coming, but feels he has to battle...>>>>

He may be testing you to see if he can "beat" you in the battle. My 7 yr old does this all the time. I think you may need to be more on the strict side right now. If the kids are getting their own way bc it's easier for you now, you're going to have lots of problems in the future (said by a mom with 3 teens!). The kids have to see that YOU and dw are in control. In the long run it will make them feel SAFER!

You're doing a great job btw. I know being a first time parent with two very active kids can be overwhelming. You're doing great though!