|
She does need to be told. My daughter was also raised by her step father. We waited until she was 11 for the formal adoption because of other legal factors. The hard part for you will be explaining that her birth dad was a troubled individual without it affecting her own self esteem (because of their biological connection). IMO his behavior was so atrocious you wouldn't want her to hear it from someone else first in a tactless or demeaning way.
My daughter's birth father changed while in Viet Nam. He came back a drug addicted alcoholic that really didn't care about anyone (including himself). His behavior was so violent and unpredictable allowing visits (even if he had tried) was pretty much out of the question. When she was little I had make sure my frustration with him didn't come accross in my attitude or words when I was talking to her about him. I focused on making sure she understood it was adult problems that caused our divorce and his absence. I still think it affected her a little, even though you couldn't have asked for a more devoted step father.
It's tough situation.
Trish
|