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I"m glad your wife is doing better, it is difficult and I know what you mean about standing by your child. I remember one day last fall, amybe less then a month after it happened I told a friend I felt like one of the Columbine parents. Of course there's no simularity but at the time I was so devestated by my child's actions, so disgusted with him, that my child could hurt my daughter and I so deeply. There are a lot of different levels in the healing process and some days I feel like I'm back at square one.
That's wonderful that your children are doing better, are they all in counseling right now? My daughter stopped. She went for a few months and felt like she was done, I kept making her go which got really painful for everyone and then our counselor moved so we used that as her graduation. She got it out, she talked about it and in her words, she was done talking about it. I think she's doing well though, she's a very strong girl with a dynamic sense of self, very confident and even though she didn't stop the assault out of fear, by telling us when it happened and us taking the appropriate actioins, I think it helped confirm to her that she wasn't to blame, etc. That may have been different if she were as young as your children, the smaller they are they just don't realize that they have rights.
That's good that your son doesn't want to go home, that he knows that would be a bad thing. Ours does want to come home and my husband would like that eventually as well. Every now and then I think maybe, but it just doesn't feel right. If it were to happen it would be a long time from now, he's no where close to being ready to be in our home, I don't think they've even touched the tip of that iceburg.
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