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It's not up to the aparents
Ok, before I offend any aparents out there, this is directed at ady mom's help. adults, not children.
My aparents didn't want me to search either, but they were very dishonest with me about that. My whole life the promised to help me look when I was "of age" Of course, my mom's description of "of age" went from 18 to 21 to out of college to married, you get the idea... I searched and found my bmom w/o mom's help - she flipped and so did my dad. To date - 15 years later - I cannot even discuss being adopted with them. It's heartbreaking, my children have to keep Gramma Diane a secret from Nanny & Poppa. I can't share the joy I fell at my receant reunion w/my bdad. I can't share with my dad - who is a pastor - how I have since learned how God's hand was in this by meeting the pastor who orchestrated my being placed w/my parents with the adoption agency 35 years ago.
Despite my sorrow at not being able to share these joys with my mom & dad, I would not change for a moment knowing my bmom and bdad. To search or not to search was MY decision to make, not theirs.
Ok - off my soapbox now.
Good Luck to you,
Toby
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Reunited w/BMom Feb 1989
Reunited w/Bdad Feb 2004
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