[lilifelover]

I have a question:

I have an open adoption. It's extremely open to the point where I have become attached to even the adoptive mother's mother and younger sisters. Finalization is comming up in May. I chose this family in hopes that they would keep their word of being completely open and honest with me for life. So far that has been what has happened-we have a relationship, we see eachother several times a month...the adoptive mother and I are even a part of the same scrapbooking club. It might be an unfounded fear, but with finalization comes independence from the agency's jurisdiction. The agency is an openness advocate. I wonder if it is just lip-service. I wanted to ask adoptive parents that have participated in an open adoption without offending my adoptive parents. I will bring this up somehow before finalization, however....but I just wanted a heads-up on what you have done in your adoption to better phrase what I have to say and get an idea on what they might say.

The APs are bringing my daughter and her big brother over this weekend so that they can meet my father's parents (who are also traveling here) for the first time...and my grandparents can meet their only greatgrandkids for the first time (yes, we have adopted my daughter's brother into our family as our own in the absense of his own birthmother). I think it would be a good time to bring this up because it will be in a familiar private setting instead of someplace public-or even on finalization day-which would be worse.

So please, let me know what happened after the agency pulled out of your adoption. Did you remain at the same level of openness? Pull back? Continue to work on your relationship?

Thank you
A New BirthMother