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i think it is also importent that we not confuse what is with what should be. adption is a money driven industry. i can admitt this, and i am not antiadoption i am proadoption. but somtimes in any business, human needs get lost or become secondery. what im saying is that many agencys may put the adoptive parents needs first because they are the ones paying. not the child and certainly not the birthparents. this may be the norm, but it doesnt mean that it is how things should be.
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