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Originally posted by riley6
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I've said many times on this and other forums. Adoption is NOT just about the child. It's about the family, including the parents. Yes, the child should benefit, but show me a parent that doesn't benefit by being blessed by a child?
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Riley,
I've said the same thing here a few times myself.
It doesn't even make sense that it is always ONLY about the child. I would have never adopted in the first place if I didn't have the strong desire to be a mother. That wasn't about the child only it was about my needs as well. If people want to call that selfish or wrong...fine. It's not going to change the facts. When we first started talking adoption it had nothing to do with saving or rescuing a child, it had everything to do with us wanting to be parents. The benefits go both ways it's not a one way street.
Who would be a mother if they didn't first have their OWN desire?
Our daughter that we adopted from Romania was more about her though than us. We didn't know who he/she would be, what type of problems, or much else. We saw a video of this horrid orphanage and knew we wanted to at least make a difference in one life if we could. And she actually would have died if she hadn't of been taken out of there. She was six when they took her out. She had a head full of lice, an extended tummy, she couldn't walk because they rarely took her out of her crib, and she was still only being given a bottle-no solid foods. She didn't even know how to chew.
She has come along way since then and is a beautiful 16 year old who is now going into 4th grade level (we homeschool), she taught herself to walk just by observing other children,but more than all she's learned she is just such a beautiful person who fills our lives with such joy. It kills me whenever I think of that place she came from that was called..."Orphanage for the Unsavagables."
With our present adoption it was a lot about us and our desires not just about the child. We wanted a new born, we wanted to experience raising a child from the beginning. To experience all the firsts (I have a bio son from a previous marriage) but my dh has never experienced raising a child from birth and this was something we wanted to do together. Of course these are not the only reasons we want to parent they go far deeper than than these.
Our children receive a lot of benefits from this couple's selfish desire to be parents.
Judy