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Close to home
I read this thread with interest because I too have our potential birthmother living with us. But it is not for any sinister reasons like I want to keep her sequestered away so she does not change her mind. I have known this girl for a couple years and she came to us. We have 3 kids, 2 bio and 1 adopted. I would only consider a FULLY open integrated adoption. I have talked to her MANY MANY times about her option to parent and offered to help her find resources to do so.
But the fact is that she is insistent that at 17, she does not want to parent. But if she changes her mind, and decides to parent than that is fine and we would support that. Her dad kicked her out, her Mom is too busy with her boyfriend, her aunts is too crowded etc etc. She refuses to even consider a maternity home. So what are we supposed to do? We pay for her medical and thats it. Her Mom covers her expenses which she is happy to do as long as "M" is out of her hair. We have thrown a jillion different options her way. Once she decided to continue the pregnancy (she toyed with the idea of abortion for quite some time) she insists this is the only option. I think we drive her crazy with the "Are you Sure?'s and the "Well what about if you do this?" scenarios.
I just want you to consider that every situation is unique and different. Not all potential a-parents are scheming and manipulative. Yes, Slswank's post seemed like she was a definite Susan Burns "Fast Track" graduate! And if you read any of my posts on the Birthmother suicide thread which included my letters and replies to the "good" Dr. Burns, you know exactly where I stand on THAT woman!!!
All I know is whether or not we adopt "M"'s baby, or we stand by and support her while she parents him (we found out it's a boy last week) that we love her and she will, god willing, be a part of our family forever.
Peace!
Laura in Houston TX
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