[Zeebugman]

Hi All...

Only thing I've been able to do for the past month or so is check-in to keep up to date on the various sagas...Been in Texas & D.C. - my Mom (amom) passed and we just got back from the service at Arlington...

I haven't had the chance to pen another letter to Mary Ann but I got a response to a surname post on Rootsweb. It looks like the lady who replied, Nancy, her mother-in-law's uncle is the same as the brother of my maternal grandfather (great uncle?), Randolph W. Cathey, city Marshall of Pauls Valley, OK., who was murdered in '07 at 28 yrs old. If this all pans out correct, her husband has my maternal-paternal Gfather listed on his family tree. Either his mother is a CATHEY or his gmother is a Cathey. My bmom is a Cathey paternally.

Anyway I contacted the Temple, TX library looking for the obit of my bmom's father, Roger Q. Cathey and they sent me an article about HIS father's (Q. Cathey) murder in 1931. Q. would be the brother of Nancy's mother-in-law's uncle who was killed in '07. I posted on Rootsweb looking for info on Q., his 3 sons (Elmer, Curtis and Roger) and Roger's 2 sons and daughter, Juanita (my bmom)...all this being the combined info from the article and my non-id.

Nancy (who replied to my post) said that she has seen the names on a family tree but hadn't heard any family stories about Q's murder. She has now asked me what Catheys I think I am related to.

Maybe I'm intellectualizing too much but I've been trying to pin an age on Nancy -- how much does the era one grows up in have to do with their outlook on adoption matters; does it make a difference in how best to reveal a possibly unknown family adoption?

The best I can approximate is that Nancy is between 55 and 70. Randolph was killed in '07 @ 28 (b. 1879), Q. was killed in '31 at 54 (b. 1877). Juanita was born in '17 - the youngest of 3 from Roger Q. (one of Q's 3 sons).

It's possible that Juanita is still alive (my amom just died at 85 (b. 1918)) and Mary Ann my maternal half-sis was born in '36...so we have people alive here - which is a good thing - but I am nervous about revealing my status in the family tree now that Nancy has asked, "What are some of the Cathey names you are related to?" Mary Ann never responded to neighbor's messages to call me, a certified letter from me or phone messages from me.

I would like to think that Nancy, being related to the Catheys by marriage, would be far enough removed that she would be open enough to assist but I'm still uneasy about saying I'm the son that Juanita gave up for adoption in '51. I'm not going to deceive anyone yet I've already been ignored by Mary Ann (or kept in the dark by her son who is 35 now - he signed for the certified letter)...so just how far can I "bend semantics" before I would be deemed dishonest when the actual connection does come out?

Should I just go ahead and go for broke or try to keep non-commital for another letter or so with Nancy? I try to talk with my wife about this - she supports me in searching - but has a hard time putting herself in the perspective of my birth-family and imagining the different levels of impact this could have on them. (Assuming, of course, that my adoption was kept secret....though for all I know it could be common knowledge....but Mary Ann's and/or her son's silence leads me to believe otherwise.)

Thanks for tolerating my long-windedness...I could definitely stand some of your thoughts!

Peace,
Jim

And Sally, what's new?????