It touched my heart to read your post. You are the only person I have ever encountered that was also raised by your grandparents. Reading what you wrote was like reading my story, at least partly.
You are right, we don't exactly fit into the normal adoptee support group. Adoptees, who most of them were adopted at birth.
I want to suggest to you that you and I could be good support for each other. I don't normally do this, but I am going to give you my email addy, trusting that no one in this group would abuse it.
My name is Carol, I live in San Francisco, here is my addy...
onecjs1@sbcglobal.net I hope to hear from you, I think we can be helpful to each other.
hugs-carol in sf