[Jiga42]

If my bmom said that my bfather was unknown to "protect" him, that was the smartest thing she ever did because the way i was raised, i could never imagine no matter what the cirumctances are, saying that I didn't want anything to do w/ my child. The child that i created because of my decisions, i could never tell them i wasn't capable of caring for them. If i ,being a guy, got a 22 year old girl pregnant and couldn't care for them, i would w/o a doubt make sure they didn't have to worry about anything at all in their life, or get an abortion. I'm pissed off at the world right now cause i'm struggling so **** much and honest to god wish i was never born. I would only wish my situation on the two people who are responsible for bringing me into the world, but to irrensponsible to care for me. I don't care how much my birthparents loved me or how hard of a decision it was to give me up, point is i'm so depressed i could die right now a happy camper. But i keep up the charade of being happy so it doesn't hurt my adoptive family. Because they have given me everything i ever wanted. Because of everything they have given me, i stay alive. But right now, the only thing that can save me is the kind of love between a man and a women, or just a ****load of money. I seriouslly have this Satan Complex where i think i'm the devil. I love money almost as much as i loved Katie, the only girl in the world who i kept fantasizing about, even after i had been w/ her.
So i'd appreciate some happy coments