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Originally Posted By Pam

Our new ten year old is very well behaved and it is hard to tell what is going on with him, even when you ask him. I'm not quite sure how to treat him. I don't want to come on too strong or seem too detached, but maybe I *should* do one or the other. He calls his ex-foster parents "mom" and "dad" because he lived with them from age 5 until just now, so I am not sure how to address the issue of what he should call us. So far, he doesn't call us anything! Any suggestions on how to broach the topic? I know he still feels as though his foster parents are his parents. He is going to be in therapy with our adoption agency, but that's not until after the first of the year and these are just little things I need help with now. My instincts tell me to let him adjust and not come on too strong, but to address him a lot and let him know we care about him. I also wonder if I should tell him that, if he likes, he can call us Mom or Dad or Tom and Pam or Aunt Pam and Uncle Tom. Should I ask him if he wants to call "home" and wish his foster family a Merry Christmas. They are in another state, far away from us. Any advice is welcome on this Christmas Day. BTW, Merry Christmas to everyone who celebrates it!