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You need help. I wish I could say it more constructively and kindly but I really can't.
I am both a birthmother and an adoptive mother. I've got news for you, by going the route you have gone, you are FOREVER tied to the birthmothers of your children. There is no way around that issue. They are a part of your children.
Now, you want to cut off ties to a young woman who was promised she could have continued contact with her birthdaughter. Its no wonder your DH won't allow you to do this. At least he sounds to be a man of his word and honor.
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