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[quote]Originally posted by slswank
[b]Yes we had birthmom come stay with us. We may have been a little selfish, but it was mainly to keep people from filling her mind with stuff. Everyone has their opinion of the situation. Anyway, it worked well because I got to feel like Kenlie was mine already. I was the one who paid the dr's and took her and fed her. I took the birthmom out for those late night cravings. We did the shopping for maternity clothes. That was fun! You will be suprised how close you become and we almost felt like we were adopting her in a way. We took care of her for 9 months. I would say that you should have her move in with you, at least you will know what is going through her mind all the time.
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Omg!
The above words are SO sad! And I'M sad! For that mother and child who, if it hadn't been for the prospective amother keeping this expectant mother sequestered and indebted, may be together today. Who knows for sure? I don't. But I DO know this...
Keeping an expectant mother away from a support-system, away from people who would counsel her withOUT bias, and DEFINITELY away from people who would counsel that mother and child stay together if at all possible, is the MO of the majority of maternity homes of the past and sadly that of some present-day maternity homes. All for the purpose of making sure that expectant mother (NOT "BIRTHMOTHER"!!!) decides to relinquish HER child.
No woman or couple can claim another woman's unborn child as theirs until such time as the adoption is finalized by the courts. No expectant mother is a birthmother until such time as she signs those relinquishment papers!
That the poster admits to, claims joy from, and ADVOCATES TO OTHERS the keeping an expectant mother with them, away from everyone who could possibly counsel that mother about keeping her own child, does nothing less than disgust me! HOW can ANYone do something so completely selfish, so grasping, so heartless? HOW is she going to be able to look that child in the eye some day and explain how she kept that child's own MOTHER away from people who may have helped her raise him/her? Kept the child's mother away from people who hopefully would have influenced her to make up HER OWN MIND without pressure and a probable feeling of owing her child in repayment?? Kept the child's mother away so that she (the amom) could practically be assured of getting that child for her own? How does she think that child may react to such news as an adult?
It also sickens me to realize that my post will most likely not be read by "slswank", because she CERTAINLY needs to see it. But like Kathy/Renee Karen Racine, I will probably be banned for stating truth.
This "slswank" needs to get herself busy reading the words of adoptees who have grown up in households where the aparents acted in such a manner. And needs to prepare herself for the possibly very negative reaction from the child she raised. My GOD I'm sorry I clicked that link!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And one last thought...
The "slswank" poster talked about LOVING that expectant mother. If that was "love", I would hate to see the opposite! OMG! I've got tears in my eyes thinking about it, and for that mother and child. I pray for the happiness of the adopted child, but think she/he will have a long, long road to such a state of mind IF the truth ever comes out (which I highly doubt... I've seen no evidence of HONESTY yet in that post!).
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