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Thank you to all of you who have replied to my message, although I'm still not sure I have an answer or one that I understand completely. :-) Let me provide a bit more info and perhaps that will at least strengthen the question. In our case my husband and I reside in Alabama. The birthmother resides in Oregon, and the birthfather in yet another state and is not in the picture. The baby will be born in Oregon. My main question is regarding consent laws. In Oregon the bmom cannot sign consent till after the baby is born but once she does, there is no waiting period and it is irrevocable assuming she has been explained her rights, etc etc. In Alabama the bmom can sign prior to birth, however there is a 5 day waiting period after the birth during which she may revoke consent for any reason, no questions asked. I of course am not looking forward to that 5 day period and would much rather follow the birth state laws, and I also thought that is how it would flow. However the attorney we are consulting with in Alabama is telling us that it always goes by the state you will finalize in and that we have to go by Alabama for the consent. UUUUUUGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!! Aside from the fact that this is not info we want to hear, more importantly, we just want to be following everything correctly and don't want something to come back to haunt us because we didn't follow the correct chain of command. Now everyone I talk to in my state tells me this attorney is the best in the state, he does 95% adoptions in his practice, and helped write the adoption code for AL. So I don't want to be having thoughts that I don't trust in what he is telling me, but it is different than what I am hearing from everyone in this group. So does anyone have any advice??
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