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We are adopting internationally, which is probably closer to your situation than current-day domestic adoption. I have to tell you that, while we plan to be perfectly open with our daughter about the fact that she was [will be] adopted, we won't have much information to share.
However, if I know something potentially hurtful, I won't bring it up. I don't want to say anything negative about her birthmother unless I have to. I also probably won't tell her specifics about her birthmother (I can anticipate having a name and address, at most) unless she asks. But if my daughter comes to me at your age and tells me she wants to search, I will give her everything I have, and I will support her.
My point is, it's entirely likely that your parents have SOME information about your birthparents. Maybe it's not more than you've been able to find, but maybe it is. And maybe in an effort to protect you, they have kept it all somewhere safe, waiting for the day you'll ask about it.
Also, my mother is my best friend, too, and I know how much it hurts to keep something like this from her. If you're like me, you'll feel better having it in the open, even if it means having an argument, than you feel now, keeping the secret.
You know in your heart whether it's a good idea to bring this up right now. Listen to your heart.
Best wishes,
Xanny
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