[Nicole28]

I have been searching for my birthmom for a little over a year now, and I have informed my adoptive parent's of this. I waited until I moved away for college to really start an intense search because I knew I would be able to search without my parent's questioning me or finding out. In the beginning, I didn't feel like I needed to tell them - it isn't any of their business, informing them would not change anything, they'll have a bad reaction, whatever. As time went on, I wondered how things would be different if I had shared what I was doing with them. Would I have their support? Do they have information that I don't know about? Could they help me out at all? Part of me feels like I am being incredibly dishonest by not sharing this with them, but another part of me is afraid that it would create a lot of negativity and jeopardize our relationship. (Since I went to college, my relationship with both parent's has improved - my mom is my best friend, and I talk much more with my dad now.) I am not even really sure what I would tell them! I am wondering what adoptive parent's think of this dilemma, and if you have any advice or ideas of how I could approach "the conversation."

Nicole