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We are an adoptive family whose 13 year old son was caught molesting our 5 year old daughter. We have since found out that he has done some very devasting things. He is RAD, a psychopath, and a pedophile, as described by the court. He is in his second placement , awaiting for the evaluations, to confirm to the DHS that he needs to be in a treatment center. Reunification seems to be the theme from the state. We are, under no circumstances, going to take him back; rapists do not live with their victims.
The sad part is that he has no empathy for his little sister. He states, in a monotone, that he would do it again.
Our pain is in having to jump through hoops proving who we are and that we did nothing to this young man. He came to us as an abused and neglected child of almost four. We have tons of paperwork documenting his behavior when he was first placed with us 11 years ago. It's gradually becoming clear to the court that we are who we say we are. Psychosocial evaluations, home studies from former adoptions, our four years as foster parents, before we adopted internationally, have helped. We felt so much shame that a child of ours could do this. We tried so hard to help him; but when puberty hit, he just went crazy. He was so charming and sneaky that we didn't have a clue what he was doing until he was caught.
My daughter has scratched herself, saying she doesn't like herself, but after four months of therapy, she is doing better. I however am having a hard time. I have daily calls, and paperwork to fill out; it just doesn't stop. I finally wrote nine pages of what we have dealt with over the last 11 years, and all the things we have found out that he did. I now fax these to the ones involved with him.
I don't know what is going to happen, I just want the constant reopening of the wound to stop. I really appreciated your post...so sorry it happened. We're just HangingOn.
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