[riley6]

No, I don't think it makes you a bad mother.

When we began fostering/adopting, we had to fill out the paperwork that asked what race of the children we would accept to foster and which we would take to adopt. For fostering, I put down any race. For adopting I didn't mark full AA. I hope I don't get bashed for saying this. I'm trying to just be honest. It's not that I wouldn't or couldn't love a child who is full AA, but I know that with kids in the fc system, there are enough issues to deal with and I didn't want race to be another one.

I've had 20 fc. All but two have been CC. One was AA and one was Latina. When I was out with the nonCC children, I'd get stares, comments and questions. I didn't like being conspicuous. I grew up with an wonderful, loving AA stepmom. I hated hearing what I heard when we'd go out. I hated the way I was treated in school bc of her race. I didn't want to have a child of mine to go through that. I know kids get teased for all kinds of things, but like I said, I didn't want race to be another issue.

The 4 kids we are adopting are CC. Ironically, we still get stares, questions and comments. Mostly about how many kids I have (I also have two grown children, who don't usually go out with us).

I guess the best advice I can give you is to do what you think is best for your family. If you feel that you want to adopt a child who "fits" in racially with your family, then do it and don't feel guilty. If you want to adopt a child who will look differently that the rest of your family, that's great too. Every family is different.

I really admire the adoptive families who expand outside their race. I also know from being friends with af's who are multicultural, that they have challenges and prejudices to deal with that I just can't.