[Archive]

Most agencies advise at the onset of the adoption information request/home study preparation that the home study itself can take between 6 weeks and 3 months and then the "child search" process anywhere from 6 months to a year and then placement of the child/children 6 months from award - depending on pre-placement visits, etc.

Our last adoption took approx. 12 months from home study update start to award and then placement 3 months beyond that. Patience is a hard thing to maintain throughout all the waiting and wondering and hoping but please do not give up! There is a child who needs you awaiting and believe it or not there is a reason for every delay or disappointment. During our process we reviewed the histories of over 300 children and were chosen for a handful of placement possibilities which seems unreal as there are so many awaiting children but the workers are justified in making sure just the right family is chosen and then presented to three Selection Committees prior to our sibling group award and no-one knows the hurt more than hearing "it was between you and one other family and the Committee chose the other family because ..." and yet if we hadn't been passed over for those we wouldn't have the placement we feel so blessed to have now.

Check the internet sites every day, check the exchange book updates at every change and submit your study for any child available and talk to the workers - you might be surprised at what you learn - sometimes a child appearing undesirable may be the child of your dreams - the worker is required to reveal each fact and many of these are negative with these kids at the time yet those issues can be addressed and resolved. Remember too that the foster families are required to report each and every incident to cover themselves and some simple behavior reported by them and passed on would be handled and put to bed if in a birth home vs. treated as a major issue. That doesn't mean that there won't be behaviors and issues to resolve - it just means that you can give a child a chance and watch him or her learn and grow not only is size but also in caring, kindness and love. Again - this may be wordy but know best that its all the advice we could get that kept us going!

(P.S. We too submitted our names for Rachel & Patryk [and their older sibling who was adopted separately] but now reviewing the current write-ups understand that their worker was serving their best interests even tho several interested parties were left disappointed when their permanency plan was changed - as I mentioned above - there is a reason for each and every delay - hang in there!)