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Originally Posted By Hattie

No. You aren't loosing your mind, and you're not a "jerk" for thinking about these things. If you weren't thinking about these things, there would be a problem. Adoptions disrupt because people don't think about these things. You can't just look at the warm and fuzzy side that says, "Wouldn't it be cool to have another kid." "It would be so great to give a needy kid a home." Yeah...great...cool...all that. But, some of these kids do have serious problems. Even the ones that don't carry their own baggage. All of them have been disappointed and abandoned by important people. You can't make a lifetime committment without weighting the pros & cons.

Spend some time talking about this with yourself. Don't just rely on other people to point out the negatives. Give yourself the freedom to acknowledge what you may consider unspeakable fears. Not the terrible things. But, acknowledge that your personal time will diminish significantly. There will be less money for the nice to haves. Etc. Spend time talking to your son about it. Ask him about his classes. Kids can be amazingly selfless, when given an opportunity.

In the end, remember you are the only one who can truly answer the question of whether or not this is a good fit for you and your son. Go ahead and take the classes. It is supposed to be a "mutual selection process". Both sides evaluate to see if it is a good fit. To wrap this long-winded answer up, I'll leave you with a quote from my foster/adopt trainer... "First in time, First in line." As aweful as it may seem to some, your first obligation is to the safety and welfare of your son.