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Maybe you could explain to her that your son neeeds clear boundaries and by giving him warnings and rewards he is bcoming confused. He's likely acting up for her because he views her as week which translates to unsafe which causes the anxiety.
Short of getting a new sitter, I don't know what to tell you. She clearly thinks you're the problem which is why she gave you that "helpful" printout. Be sure to tell her how concerned you are about this behavior as it doesn't occur at home. Ask he if she'd mind keeping track of problems at what occurs before he gets upset. It might buy you a little time.
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