From what I've just learned, I would definitely wait on your camping trip, or any trip--if I'm understanding correctly you're going to adopt 2 children-wow, that's quite an undertaking and camping with lots of other people doesn't really give you the privacy of having a hotel room or somewhere quiet and seperate should your children need it....
My first thought is, maybe this is too much stimulation too soon for this kind of adoption, international with toddlers.....much different than a newborn adoption....
You have to understand that these older children have already had several disruptions in their life and they need time with just you and your husband only....they need to learn that you and your husband are now their new parents and introducing them to alot of new people will interrupt that cycle of bonding and attachment you're trying to promote.....
I know this might sound cruel and think, well, it's just a few days, but, my thought is, from what I now know, they shouldn't see anyone except you and your husband for quite a while....plus, alot of these children, (maybe not yours) but alot of these children haven't even really been outside and the sounds at night and all the people and other children might scare them and if they don't scare them it will definitely overstimulate them and get you off track of the routine you're trying to get them used to.
I would have thought just like you, other than a few weeks ago my husband and I took a wonderful 8 hour adoptive training session with a SW regarding bonding and attachment and international adoptions and all the realities and challenges aparents and their children encounter....some of them were hard to hear--especially when she told us to not let anyone else hold our daughter for quite a while--(how do I tell my mother and my mother-in-law that!!!! :eek ) But now I understand why.....our child, who will be probably a year and a half old, she needs to learn that we are her parents now and learn that we are the ones to comfort her needs for now so we can best establish this trust issue we have to overcome....so she can learn to trust us and know that we will fulfill her needs.....thus creating a healthy cycle of bonding and attachment.
Plus, like your children, our daughter is coming from another country and new sights, new sounds, new language, new color of people (my husband and I), everything and to get her finally used to us only to bring her somewhere else, like you in your camping trip, might not be in the best interest of your child....not right now, maybe 6 months from now or next year.....
Also, it was pretty much recommended to us that a family bed, co sleeping, would also be in the best interest of our child when she arrives home--it's such an easy, wonderful way to bond with them....
But, as far as the camping trip, it definitely is something that you'd have to, at the very least, wait until you're with your little ones to see how their adjusting to life here with you....I don't think this decision can be made without having them here yet....
I think our trainer just gave us a new awareness of truly what our child will be going through-how she will be greiving for the life she knew and the people she knew that were taking care of her and to realize that these children are not like biological children that we've raised since birth and have bonded with since the womb and basically they've had difficult, difficult times in their lives and we can't expect them to be these perfect little people when we get them.....as she put it, our gain is from their loss.....and they're going to be experiencing this....and even for the children that seem to be okay and go to everybody happily, her thought was, that wasn't the best thing because she felt that the child wasn't properly bonding to the parent, if they were bonding to everyone else too....there wasn't that strong, strong bond that needed to be there, her to us, if our child was reaching out to everyone all the time--that's why she was trying to teach us the importance of our child only bonding to us in the beginning....to teach her who her lifelong parents are.
I know it might be hard to fully comprehend how a little 3 day trip could be detrimental to your child, but, if you'd like more info you can pm me and I can give you the name of the SW who can email you a little more information regarding this....okay?
Hope this helps a little......
Otherwise, relax, sit back, enjoy those little ones and feel blessed!!!!
Melody
