I'm grateful to read all of your thoughts, thank you so much!
I hope I don't sound like I don't care about my biological parents - it's really my bio. mother that I'm in contact with. She is really nice, very thoughtful, good at corresponding... that's why I feel so bad "turning her away." I like her.
I'm going to try to start a letter to her that includes all my feelings so she will understand where I'm coming from, even if that means I end up sharing the seriousness of my Dad's illness.
thanks again & I will check again to read any more replies.
