[riley6]

I would NEVER advocate for adopting a 12 yr old girl when you have boys in your home that are your sons' ages.

We had a 12 yr old girl that we were planning on adopting. I asked ALL the right questions and later found out that not only was I given the wrong answers, but it was in her file that she HAD been sexually abused. It was documented and the worker lied to me, b/c had she told me the truth, we would have said no. They were desperate to get this girl adopted and no one wanted her. We had two sons at home at the time who were in their late teens. We had no concerns at all with them, b/c they went through the fc course with us and knew the type of fc we might get. They would never have tried to take advantage of the girl.

She was with us a year. We tried everything not to disrupt her placement with us. The month before we had her removed, our neighbor came over to our house frantic. He had caught his 9 yr old son and our dd in the back yard having intercourse. He brought our dd home and all she did was smile. She said that she liked virgins when we asked her how she could do that to such a young boy.

I used to listen in on her phone conversations. I KNEW she was lying to us, but I could never catch her. Well, the night before she was removed, I DID catch her. She was telling a friend of hers how she was going to sneak downstairs and have sex with my 17 yr old son. She told her friend how she had been planning this surprise. I couldn't believe my ears. I was devastated. I talked to "P" about it and she said she was just joking. I didn't believe her.

The sw came and got her the next day when I called. I could no longer keep everyone in my home safe. If she had gone through with her plan that night, my son could have been arrested for rape. Could you imagine how that would have ruined his life?

When I was going through her room to pack her stuff, I found her diary. I read it and couldn't believe all the lies she had told me. I couldn't believe all the sneaking she had done, especially in the middle of the night. Boys had been in my home and she had snuck out of our home. I confimed this by calling one of her friend's mothers. She admitted that she had caught "P" at her house one night and "P" begged her not to call me. She promised she'd never do it again. Of course she did. I found pills in her room, pot in her coat pocket, cigarrettes in her drawers. Who would have thought that a little girl who was only 12 yrs old would be like that. Certainly not me. She had been in counseling while she was here and the counselor told me everything was going well. "P" had never confessed any of this to her counselor. She told her she loved it with us and everything was good at home. In her diary she wrote that she hated all of us and would use us for all we had. She said the day she turned 18 she would drop out of high school and go live on the streets so she could do all the drugs and sex she could. I NEVER SUSPECTED THIS!

I'm telling you this, b/c NO ONE can guarentee that something that happened to us won't happen to you. It's ok to want to make a difference in someone's life. But don't risk your own children to fulfill that need. Wait until they're grown! Even after I did, our kids were still affected.

I know there are people who will say that WE did something wrong or that WE didn't have our eyes opened. Believe me, "P" fooled a LOT of people. After she left the stories started coming out. Two boys at church youth had had sex with her (other 6th graders). She had spread lies about our family. We really had to rebuild our lives.

We now have two teens that we're adopting. Our birth kids are grown and in college. I am now SAFELY able to make a difference in kids' lives who would have otherwise aged out of fc. They are with a permanent family, but the difference this time is that my family is intact. Don't risk your family. Please.