[HappyMomAnna]

As long as we do try very hard to understand what we are getting into--have our resuorces in order and plan on an intense several months--a year or three or until the kids are grow---either way family is as important as they are not.

We started pretty early as the children were being placed making a little newsletter--with pictures, ideas we had learned and some info about the children. Such as explaining that due to our daughters history they may see us handle a situation differently then might seem we should....we took that time to explaine that we had gone through training classes--we have a great deal of spport and we understand why we handle things the way we do. If they have a problem they can sign up for the training too....and they can talk with us privately if they have questions about what they saw.

The fact is that with a little older child things are a little different. Imagine how this must really feel to a child.

The newletter I have given to the family has really helped because I give them enough understanding of the situation--but, also don't have to disclose everything. The family knows if they want to talk about something they need to call or see me when the kids are not there overhearing.

We try to give them little bits of info we have learned and things they can do to help the kids.....we sort of put some responsibility onto the family to help us raise these children to feel like this is their family.

We don't get so many questions--or opinions dumped on us. We still do get the odd remarks--My mother-in-law is constantly telling us she, "feels sorry for us." Which we ask why? Did anyone feel sorry for you when you had three kids? My mom has her hang-ups but them are becase she wasn't a 'mommie-mommie' she was a fine mom, but you know the difference some moms are not the same as others.

It is Ok because my aunt--moms sister, was an adoptive mom, and a foster mom, and a mommie-mommie so we talk alot!