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Maire,
I think you could explain it to the social worker and she would understand that this was one incident in the past and that incident was resolved appropriately. My concern for you was that you said you were unwilling to talk at all about it and it could come up in the criminal check or through your references and the social worker would wonder why you hadn't informed her of it.
I believe you could run a local criminal check on yourself-it probably would involve completing some paperwork in your city or county government office and and paying a small fee. I don't know if you could predict what the FBI clearance will say.
Dept. of Homeland Security (BCIS, formerly INS) will review your homestudy (that would include discussions of arrests) with your I600A application before they give you the I-171H. Sorry,I don't have the knowledge to speculate on how they would view your circumstance.
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