[Xanny]

It is not the foreign countries that will be the biggest problem. The thing is, when you apply for international adoption, you are also applying to make a foreign national into a US citizen (that's what the I600 is about). Immigration (now the Department of Homeland Security) will check you out to see if you are likely to be a fit parent and not disrupt this adoption, which would cause your child (now a US citizen) to become a burden to the State.

The US is also making a claim to the foreign country that their citizen will not be harmed by becoming a US citizen. Every time an internationally adopted child is abused or killed, it can cause a problem with international relations, not just with adoption. So the US does thorough background checks through the FBI on everyone who applies for an I600.

I think that if you want to pursue adoption, you're going to have to open up about this with SOMEONE--at least your agency--or take the risk that you could get all the way to the end and not be able to adopt. And if you did, you'd still have to live the lie throughout four post-adoption visits with the social worker.

This is a tough decision for you. I can certainly understand why you don't want to rehash this experience. But I think it would be a huge risk to pursue international adoption without disclosing this information.

If you wanted to try domestic adoption, it's a little less risky, since you'd find out what was in your record by the end of the homestudy. That's just a couple of months and around $1000 or less. But domestic adoption is a different kettle of fish, so you might want to ask questions on one of those boards before you dive in.

Best wishes,

Xanny