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Originally Posted By anonymous

Susan,
I went through what was to be an "open adoption", it has turned into a nsty affair but it works very well for many people. Please remember the birth parents are making a huge sacrifice, no one is doing any favors, adoption is to give a child or children a better life. In my case I was to recieve pictures, the FIRST month the potential adoptive mother told me she was writing thank you notes and had forgot me. Not a great start, then she informed me this was a closed not open adoption as had been agreed upon. These do work but you must show some sensitivity, when we look for parents for our children we want positive role models, not some one who has lied to get the children then forget where they came from. In my case there were lots of misunderstanding and a total lack of communication, neither the father nor I were provided an attorney, one attorney actually wrote to the father and told him they were inclined to believe he was not the father. Things like this is what makes a contested adoption, truth goes a long way, we have to provide our life history, in my case the family doesn't even live where they said. It hurts more than anyone will know to know these people were plotting this scheme before they ever met me but I get the blame from everyone. I really do wish you luck, if promises are kept and communication is open there is usually not a problem. I really do wish you luck, and make sure everyone has an attorney so everything is explained in advance, in my case we were told nothing which hurts even more. I will never understand why they felt such a need to lie, also I fell that the good ones are forgotten, the bad adoptions like mine go on forever and so stick in one's mind. I do wish you the best of luck.