[tobeafamily]

I think our choices of adoption path at their core are about risks and benefits - which risks are we willing to handle, which aren't we, and how does each risk weigh against benefits?

There is no risk-free way to become a parent - biologically or though adoption. People have different risk tolerances, though. There is no one best way or right way, only a best way for each person.

For instance, in international adoption you have risks associated with:

* financial issues (expenses)
* travel
* language
* unknown medical history of child and social history of parents
* bureaucracy (domestic and foreign)
* potential exposure to abuse, neglect or institutionalization (may or may not be known at time of placement)
* attachment/bonding (again, a RISK, not all children of international adoption develop attachment issues)
* nutrition - prenatal and infant

In domestic parental placement you have:

* financial issues - primarily the unpredictability of them
* travel (unless child is born locally)
* Pbparents choosing to parent
* bureaucracy
* nutrition - prenatal
* unpredictable timelines

In waiting child/foster care you have:

* may have incomplete or unknown medical history of child and social history of parents
* bureaucracy
* potential exposure to abuse, neglect or institutionalization (may or may not be known at time of placement)
* attachment/bonding (again, a RISK, not all children of foster care adoption develop attachment issues)
* nutrition - prenatal and infant

These are just examples and are not intended to completely describe the full scope of risks in any type of adoption.

I think it's important for paparents to have access to unbiased education on all ways of adopting that is free of stereotype or misinformation. That can be tough to come by though! Watch out for 'general statements' - like 'all children of foster care were abused' - not so, or 'most birth parents choose to parent', or 'children of X country have no problems adjusting', etc. I call these the "Lifetime Television for Women" facts (that aren't really facts at all).

HTH,

Regina, AMom to Ryan Joshua Thomas