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I understand your frustration. I had no idea how blessed we were in our last adoption until I requested information from agencies where we recently moved. One of the agencies sent me policy information, including a very specific policy that they will NOT place adoptive children out of birth order (they also won't place children within 12 months of any sibling, won't place within 12 months of the addition of any child in the family, etc, etc, etc).
Turns out, some agencies have some pretty harsh ideas about how you can go about adopting. And, yes these people can stop you from adopting. So, you have two choices. You can either sell your right to adopt this child to the agency you are working with OR you can start over with another agency that is more flexible in their placement policies. One is expensive, the other can be degrading. Welcome to the world of adoption! We have to justify our right and ability to adopt to all sorts of people.
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