[maryjanek]

eurydice --

No one has responded yet to your concern about your baby's ethnicity and the community where the prospective aparents live. Have you browsed adoptee's posts on this site for information on how adoptees in similar situations feel about it?

The two people I know -- a niece and the brother of a co-worker, one Bolivian and the other Korean -- who were adopted by white American families did have problems, especially in adolescence. Both eventually felt they had to leave their parents' sphere to find communities they felt at home in. Their situations were more extreme than your baby's would be, of course. Neither was adopted in infancy and their birth families were worlds away.

It is clear from your posts that you are thinking like a parent already. Do you trust someone else to raise your baby more than you trust yourself? Because your rights will be terminated when you sign the adoption papers. Open adoptions have no status legally, as I'm sure you know. You'll be doing what I did, which was hand my son to fate. There are no "perfect" families, and no guarantee that any family will love your child as much as you do -- unconditionally.

I don't know that everyone regrets the decision they made when they found themselves in your situation, but for sure everyone second guesses it. There aren't too many other choices we have in life that make such a big difference for the future.

My heart goes out to you, really.

Mary Jane

P.S. Brenda just did address the racial issue, while I was writing my post.