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I don't know, I guess I am being too literal. I know in my mind what is best for my child... I know it in my heart to. I just don't think that I can say that my heart is totally set on adoption. It is such a painful loss... how can my *heart* be set on that? I do want her to have the best life, I want what is best for her so yes, my mind is set on it. I will always have regret, pain, and all sorts of other feelings no matter what. Honestly, every female that I talk to that has an abortion regrets it, every female who kept a baby they couldn't raise regrets it, and every person who puts their baby up for adoption regrets it. At the same time they feel that they made the right choice. It's just something that you can't be literally "set on"... I just don't think that emotions work that way.
The telling me what to do thing came from somebody saying that "it won't be my place" to do this or that. I would understand saying, "I don't think that this is appropriate" or "in my opinion that is not something that you should do" but not that it isn't my place. Of course it is! This child comes from me no matter who raises her so I think that I should be able to give her what I can even if I am not the one that she calls mom.
I wonder about one thing, what programs are available to single mothers? I'm just curious because I don't know about anything aside from WIC or CalWorks.
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