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Ok, I *obviously* know that when a child is adopted the adoptive parents become that child's parents. They are the people that she will call mom and dad. They are the people that are going to raise her. The family that I am talking to *specifically* wants a birthmom that wants to stay involved in the childs life because the first adopted boy has that. It makes sense that they don't want one child to have something that the other won't.
If we end up on opposite sides of the country or world I will *still* be in my child's life. If it becomes letters and pictures or birthday presents and college funds and nothing more that is fine. Who says that there is a rule that I can't give my daughter what I want to give her?
My mind is set on adoption, but my heart is going back and forth between yes and no. That makes perfect sense doesn't it? I would think that a person who has their heart set on adoption probably has some issues with being cold. How could your heart be set on giving your child up?
If the child was to become confused I would have to stay away. That doesn't mean that I can't send gifts or money to the family to give to her.
I don't want her to feel unwanted. I heard a story once about an adopted little girl who asked her friend how many moms she had. When her friend replied that she had only one the adopted girl walked over and told her she was sorry and hugged her because she felt bad for her.
I am her birthmom and I am her biological mother and I am the mother who brought her into this world. Without me she wouldn't be here. That means just as much as the mother and father who are going to raise her and take care of her. We both have a right to be emotionally involved.
I call and talk to the boy who is already living with them. He already knows my name and he tells me that he loves me when we get off of the phone. This family has framed pictures of his birthmother and birthfather in his room. They look at them as part of the family.
I am venting my feelings because no matter what I am going to go back and forth between them. My counselor tells me that this is perectly normal. I just want opinions about what others have experienced. I don't want people to tell me how I have to conduct my adoption experience! Every situation is different, right?
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