Hello, my name is Lisbeth. I am new to these forums and I would like to introduce myself and ask a few questions.
I am almost 6 months pregnant and I am considering placing my child up for adoption. I am having so many mixed feelings about the entire process and I just need some advice.
The family I am considering is totally ok with an open adoption. They actually adopted a boy from another woman that I spook with and she told me great things about them.
I just worry because I hear all these stories about families disappearing down the line. I honestly think that I would kill myself if that happens to me. I *have* to be able to remain in my child's life.
They are ok with me calling to talk to her and also visiting when I want. I really want to and I hope that this lets her know that I do love her so much but that I want her to have the best life ever.
If I let them adopt her I can afford to put aside a college fund for her, I can afford to buy her everything, I can afford to give her a lot more than if I keep her. I don't even have a car (and I live in a city where you need one). I don't talk to the bfather. My family is not stable enough to help me take care of her. I am totally in debt and not finished with college.
I want to keep her so bad. I go out to places and see how horrible mothers treat their children and I *know* that I would never be that way. I know that I would be a good mother and that I would love her so much. I just know that we would have such a rough time. I wouldn't be able to afford anything and she would have to suffer because of it. I know what it's like, because even though my parents weren't horribly poor, they had a ton of money problems and we (the kids) went through so much because of it. I don't ever want to take out my financial problems on her like they did on us.
I am just really afraid and I don't know what to do. I feel so selfish if I keep her just because I love her. I don't think that parenting should be about love but about know that you can give them the best life and be the best parent. Am I wrong?
I just don't want her to feel unwanted or that she wasn't loved. I wonder if this adoption stays totally open if she will just feel like two moms love her.
Please help me! I need to hear different opinions about open adoption...
