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Holding therapy is not the same as rebirthing. It is also regular practice during intensive attachment therapy to have more than one therapist present. Attachmnent therapy is emotionally painful so the kids do cry out as they release the rage, so the screaming is not uncommon. However, being able to see the child's face and allow them to look at you at all times is vitally important.
Also, it's not about the child feeling greatful. It's about the child letting go of the pain to be able to allow love into their hearts.
RAd is not genetic, It is caused by neglect and abuse during the first 3 years of life. When the child cried to be fed, held, or taken care of, their cries were not met or met with abuse. Because of this, the connections in the brain in the areas of trust do not form correctly. The interventions are suppose to help reconstruct those areas of the brain so the child can love, trust , and form a conscience. YOu are correct about the trauma.
The behaviors displayed by unattached children hit adopted parents who are unprepared for them with an overwhelming force. The parents do grieve the loss of a dream and often feel angry because the child never learns from their mistakes.
This is beyond normal behavior and often times the children are dangerous. I had a child bite the inside of his cheek because he wanted to know what flesh tasted like. He told a therapist he planned to hunt down and kill someone. I had another child set fires, save pee in bottles in his room, and attempt repeatedly to poisen me. No consequence ever mattered. I had a kid who would take towels out of the dryer dripping wet and swear they were dry. I had one child who would assault other children if left alone even for a second. I didn't expect them to be greatful. I wanted them to heal so they could be happy and enjoy life. This did require specialized therapy and a drastic change in the way I parented. I didn't then nor have I ever blamed my children for their pain. I did, however, hold them accountable for choices and allowed them to live with the consequences of their choices so they could learn cause and affect and develope a conscience. It was/.is hard. I did go to New York and fly therapists in from Utah as well as finding therapist and groups here who understood my childrens needs.
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