Quote:
Originally posted by aj2002
Why would birthparents not want an open adoption? I didn't want a totally open adoption... to much pain. I had total faith in the family we selected. However, my fiancee still wanted to be a part of his son's life, so here we are. Every two or three months I am forced to go visit them and pretend that I am happy for them when all I really want to do is scream at them for taking my baby away from me, grab him and run. I guess the one thing that keeps me going is that as hard as it is for me to see him and them it would be even harder for him to grow up with all the identity issues adoptees usually face. So, here I am. I'll always just be "Amy" and she'll always be "Mom"
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How old is your son?
The first few years, when your child really does not understand who you are, are the hardest for birthparents in open adoptions. Believe me, as the birthmom of a 19 year old, it is worth all the difficulty of the first few years when you are able to share a love with your child all your own. The first time my 2 year old told me he loved me as he climed into my lap was worth the pain. You are building something with your son whether it feels like it or not.