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Why would birthparents not want an open adoption? I didn't want a totally open adoption... to much pain. I had total faith in the family we selected. However, my fiancee still wanted to be a part of his son's life, so here we are. Every two or three months I am forced to go visit them and pretend that I am happy for them when all I really want to do is scream at them for taking my baby away from me, grab him and run. I guess the one thing that keeps me going is that as hard as it is for me to see him and them it would be even harder for him to grow up with all the identity issues adoptees usually face. So, here I am. I'll always just be "Amy" and she'll always be "Mom"
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