[Cricket8351]

I am going to have to offer a different opinion. Yes, we are hopeful prospective adoptive parents. We can't have children biologically so I want you to know that from the start.

I just don't think it is right to encourage your step-daughter in either direction. I think as a parent you do need to provide her with all the information and all the options...pros & cons.

Ultimately though it is her and the father's decision. It is a decision that they will have to live with for the rest of their lives.

They have to be sure they can live with it regardless of which path they choose. There are some folks who never ever get over the fact that they placed a child for adoption. Even worse is when they feel they were pressured into the decision. I don't think you want that.

My mother was 17 when she had me and yes it was extremely difficult for her but she kept me. She got married because that is what was expected of her. He was abusive to her and neglectful to me. She made the decision to leave him.

I am not pro- or anti-adoption. I think the decision to place a child for adoption is a personal one. I can't say that it is never the right decision or always the right decision for teen mothers or whatever.

I just would hate to see you talk your step daughter into something that she does not feel in heart is the right thing to do. Young people are impressionable and therefore you could sway her into a decision that you think is best but that does not mean it is...for her.

I don't want to be offensive or disrespectful to you in any way. I just wanted to give you something to think about. She has to live the rest of her life with whatever decision she makes. You don't.

I believe that when teenagers decide they are old enough and adult enough to have sex then they have to make adult decisions. They have to endure the consequences of their actions. By that I mean they have make a decision and live with it.

Sit down with her and look at all the options and the realistic expectations of each option. Make sure that SHE is the one making the decision. If you dont feel you can truly do that without persuading her in one direction or another, then why not seek out counseling for her. Not with an adoption agency but unbiased professional counselor...to help her.

Just my opinion.

T