[LegallyKim]

Cyndi,

I am a birthmom and would like to offer you my advice. Please make sure that your step-daughter is aware of ALL of her options, and the responsibilities that go with those options, so that SHE can make an informed decision. My parents forced me into adoption nearly 16 years ago, it is not a decision I chose nor wanted, and I have had to live with the results MY whole life. I think it is okay to "encourage" your step-daughter towards the decision you feel is right for her, but ultimately, IMHO, I believe the decision should be hers. My parents only wanted what was best for me, and I hold not grudges or ill will toward them, but it wasn't the right decision for me and it wasn't MY decision. That is something that has made my life very difficult at times.

I wanted you to have a birthmom's perspective on this. Adoption very well may be the best route for your step-daughter, and once she is informed, she may choose that route. As a part of a closed adoption, I strongly recommend an open adoption, as I believe research will show you BENEFITS both birthmom and child. Many on this forum will argue that a CLOSED adoption is selfish.