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It seems like a situation or relationship is destined to be awkward when one party is in exclusive control, oversees the setting of "boundaries" and is, to quote hollyalteneder, "in the driver's seat".
This one-sidedness is inherent in the aparent/bparent relationship. Prior to relinquishment, the birthparent is the one establishing the rules and calling the shots. Post-relinquishment, the positions are reversed and the aparents are in control.
I guess the thing to remember is that open adoption really isn't about the aparents or the bparents feeling comfortable (although it would be nice...), it is about what is in the best interest of the adoptee. In my opinion, it is in an adopted child's best interest to have both sets of parents involved in his or her life. Sometimes adults have to sacrifice their own comfort to a certain degree for the sake of their children.
JMO, ~ Sharon
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