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I'm an amom in a fully open adoption. We just got back from a visit w/M's bfamily, in fact.
Right now (my daughter is 22 months) I just tell her that babies come from their mommies tummies, and before she came to live with us she grew in another lady's tummy. That lady is *H*, who is her tummymom. My daughter has 2 brothers, so it's important that she understand everyone's role early on.
I also use the word 'adopted' quite a bit, so that it's never going to be a big shock. I say "We hit the baby jackpot when we adopted you!". We also read a couple of adoption stories.
I personally subscribe to the "Act like it's just a fact of life, no big deal, and that's exactly what it'll be" philosophy.
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"Do not put your faith in a cape and a hood
They will not protect you the way that they should
And take extra care with strangers
Even flowers have their dangers
And though scary is exciting, nice is different than good.
.... Isn't it nice to know a lot? And a little bit... not.
--Stephen Sondheim
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