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I think children have less trouble understanding love than adults do. None of my children have had trouble grasping my love for them regardless of the circumstances and choices that have shaped our families. My birthdaughter is remarkably mature for her age and is well aware of why I couldn't parent her then. My biological children have been exposed to adoption (both as my status as a birthmother and several family members adopting children, not just the relatives whom adopted my birthdaughter) and it was not big deal when we told them their brother was going to be joining our family. And, our son can now grasp adoption and very happy to have finally made it home. He apparently spent years asking when he was going to get a mother again and was more than happy to finally have a mother love him again, regardless of the complexities of the situation.
Its those outside of the situation that I find cannot understand. Some relatives refuse to even consider and have made rude comments over the years. And, as I said in my other post, I've been attacked online because I am both a birth and adoptive mother. I have been boggled by the close-minded nature of people outside of the circumstances. I'm not sure why that is, perhaps stereotypes regarding birthmothers or perhaps ignorance and a lack of trying to learn of something outside of themselves.
But, as I said, things have worked well for those of us IN the situation. My birthdaughter was excited, her siblings were excited, my children were excited and our son was excited to join a family where he wasn't the only child adopted (nor the only child adopted from Africa even).
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