[6kiddos]

Thank you for all the responses!

Sammie, I am very sorry for the negative experiences that you had in foster care. That is the main reason that I want to make sure that foster families are supported...a family that feels appreciated and supported is better able to care for children.

Foster families are asked to do some pretty incredible things: Love the child with your whole heart, but be prepared to grieve if they leave. Support the family's attempts at reunification even if you aren't fully convinced that it will work. Remain positive with the child even when you are steaming inside because the caseworker hasn't returned your call in 4 days. Be prepared to spend several hundred dollars on clothing at a moment's notice, but wait 6-8 weeks for the money to be reimbursed. Spend a good chunk of your time each week driving to therapy appointments, but have time to make nutritious meals and keep a house running smoothly. Try not to take it personally when a child attacks you verbally, they are just showing you their pain because you are "safe". Become an expert in attachment issues, fetal alcohol issues, anger management, and the like. (But remember that you are not a "professional" on the team, you are just a foster parent...ugh.)

I know how hard it is, I have done it for many years. We are no longer actively fostering because of our latest adoption, but I am hoping to be of some support to area foster families now. A group of us are trying to get "discount cards" made up that will allow foster families to show the card at local businesses for a discount on goods or services. I also try to remind churches that foster families need their support. How about sending a pizza (or two, depending on family size) to a foster family some night as a surprise?! (Maybe a phone call at 3pm saying "Don't fix supper tonight" would be a good idea first!) I would also love to see "empathy trainings" for social workers where foster families and foster children are given a voice in making changes in the way the system functions. Maybe change needs to come from us, the ones who are providing care or who have been in care, instead of from the county or agency.