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You could try sending your "new" letter certified, restricted delivery. I did that on my first contact with my (deceased) birthfather's sisters. That way, ONLY the addressee can sign for the mail. If no one is home when the mailman delivers, after some number of attempts, a note will be left for them to go to the post office. They will have to provide picture ID and sign for it themselves - no proxies. If no one signs for it after some unknown period of time, your mail will come back to you as undeliverable.
You say you have gathered a lot of info on her (and her son) - have you been able to identify your mother from that info? Perhaps if you have her name, you could try to contact her?
Best of luck - keep us posted.
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