[Archive]

Originally Posted By Holly

Adoption is what you make it. It's so simple, but it's so true. Your reasons for adopting will greatly influence you experience.

Also, when you take the time to 1) leave yourself some room to grow, and 2) work things out BEFORE they are to happen youre experience can be wonderful.

On point one: I've found it very helpful when considering open adoptions to leave yourself some growing room - meaning, start with little steps and work towards more. For example - maintain a little privacy at the start and open into more as things progress (We don't know last names in our adoption, but we've met twice and still have correspondence through mail. We're all at the point that if and when we want more involvement/openeness we'll 'grow'.) THE SUCCESS OF THIS IS DEPENDENT ON POINT #2.

On point two: Take the time to get to know your birthparents and they you before you make a lot of agreements. When you meet in person and have discussions you can better understand how and why you both feel the way you do - what fears you have, what concerns, what excitement, etc. This will make all the difference - an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.

Best of luck!!
Holly