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Focus what you want regarding everythings, graduate school, places to live, adoption, etc... See if the agency, a church, or school (if you are in graduate school, they should have councilor at the health center) and find a professional to talk too.
You need to sort out your feelings, and the best people who can do that are professionals, they focus on you and your feelings.
I fear in these adoption forums, that too many of our feeling, experiences, etc... might muddle your thoughts.
Let your heart.... make the best decision for yourself.
BIG HUGS
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