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Kendra
Kendra,
I would really encourage you to do a lot of research of the affects of adoption on children. I placed my daughter 15 years ago for adoption. I was 18 when she was born. I placed her because I wanted her to have a stable two parent family. A year ago I got a call from her adoptive parents telling me that she was running away, using drugs, suicidal and cutting on herself. Talk about a shock. Although my daughter is not angry at me and we are forming a wonderful relationship, she acknowledges that a lot of the problems she experienced were a result of feeling like she was completly rejected by me...an outcast. That was light years from the truth, but sometimes childrens minds cannot wrap themselves around the concept that "she loved you so she gave you away". For some children that translates to rejection no matter how you put it. There are some adoptees who don't seem to be as affected by being adopted, but there are others who are greatly affected. I had NO IDEA when I placed my daughter that I would be hurting her by doing so. I truly thought that I was the only one who would hurt.
With that said, I am not saying adoption is bad. Even with the struggles my daughter has had, there have been some very wonderful things come out of our adoption experience. I am wondering now with open adoption being so common that much of what my daughter experienced won't be such a huge problem. I have wondered if we would have had an open adoption from the beginning and I could have reassured her of my love over the years, maybe she wouldn't have struggled so much??? Anyway, just want to encourage you to learn as much as you can before you make your decision. I pray God gives you wisdom. Tracie.
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