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Originally Posted By Yvonne

This seems to be the only page where birthmothers are left alone. Their babies have already been taken, so I guess there is no sense for those trying to acquire babies in spending anytime here. Besides, the page reeks of pain!

I relinquished my daughter for adoption 33 years ago. I searched for her and we have been reunited for 18 years now and have a decent relationship.

I still can't believe that I didn't stand up for myself and follow my heart and tell everyone with all their pathetic advice to take a flying leap and somehow just keep my baby. I can't believe that I turned her over to complete strangers. I can't believe I did that, but I did.

The loss and pain have never abated. Even finding her and the accompanying joy brought a new kind of pain. I'm so accutely aware of all that I lost by letting her go. Those first years would have been difficult, but they wouldn't have lasted forever. There were other young women who managed to keep their babies. They somehow managed to stand up for themselves and not capitulate to all the pressure insisting upon relinquishment.

I can't bear it when someone tells me I gave a "wonderful gift" to an infertile couple. You don't make a gift of your child. If you want to give someone a gift, for God's sake give them flowers, or candy or something. Not your child!

My hope is that someone who is planning to relinquish will read this page and perhaps pay attention to what it feels like to have relinquished one's child and then, reconsider. Losing a child is the most painful experience in life. It doesn't matter if you lose that child to death or to adoption - it all hurts the same, except that in adoption there is no closure. It goes on forever.

If half as much effort and expense went toward keeping mothers and babies together as goes toward separating them, this would be a much better world.