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BTDT
Dawn:
I too am sorry for what you have had to deal with. We have been in a similar situation. Our son continues to live in RTC.......and will either be transitioned to live in their continued facilities, or will be turned out on the streets in three years. We tried for four years. The state system misrepresented him to us, and after four years, we were able to obtain the info they were to have lawfully supplied to us....info we asked about time and again. Did they know about it? Yes. Their names and contact into are on every document. Were we 'duped'? Yes. And, like you have said, you are NOT alone. There are many families who have been led astray with the 'love is enough theory'.
I won't go into my thoughts on RAD (which is one of the primary problems with our son,...adopted at age 7yrs.)........but suffice to say, I do not believe the chances for 'healing' are very good----unless the child is extremely young when brought into his/her forever home. And, finally, the kid has to WANT to change. (A condition our son refuses to consider.)
While we also live in fear that he will 'come back'.......he is also many miles away at this time. We're hoping for the best for all of us as the years go....
I wish you the best in the future. Your attempts were not in vain. These kids are 'something else'....and certainly not to be taken lightly. And, if you feel like I do.........as long as we are able to tell any people who are considering older child adoption-----to DO THEIR HOMEWORK.....then I feel that we help some, along the way....
Most sincerely,
Linny
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